When I was married in 1987 I was 21 years old. Today marks the 244th day since our 21st wedding anniversary and the day that I have been married to my wife longer than I was single.

I am not sure why I find this day so special, but I have been looking forward to it for a very long time. Perhaps it was because I was married at a very young age. Perhaps it is because I love the relationship with my wife more than the freedoms of being single. Perhaps it is because the last 21 years have been filled lots of up and downs and in both good times and bad our relationship has been strengthened. Today it is stronger than I could have ever imagined.

Set aside for the moment that I am anal enough to calculate the exact day. If you have never been in a relationship with someone who loves you unconditionally, then perhaps you would not fully understand how much you savor every moment…let me explain.

When someone loves you unconditionally, at first you are tempted to take advantage of that love. And in the beginning of our marriage, I certainly made that mistake. But eventually you begin to realize that you are not worthy of anyones unconditional love. You do things that are unlovely and you say things that are unloving. And you know yourself pretty well. Some of the things that you do are just plain unlovable. The fact that someone would love you anyway, is at the same time humbling and sobering. You start to realize your responsibility and begin to treasure that love for the unique (and frankly all too rare) jewel that it is.

I don’t control the love that I receive from my wife. Those are choices that she makes in loving me. I do, however, get to make choices in how I respect and receive that love. In addition, I get to choose the way that I love her.

Now, on to the next 21 years…